Infidelity — What Went Wrong?

“It’s a sad fact of American life today that close to 1 in 4 couples will be affected by unfaithfulness,” says clinical social worker Barbara Johnson of Lehigh Valley Hospital and Health Network. About a third of those marriages will end up in divorce unless the underlying issues are worked out.

Infidelity often occurs in stages, Johnson says. A co-worker or friend becomes a confidant, often before there’s any physical contact. Once the physical rush kicks in, it’s hard to break that connection without a strong commitment to the marriage.

“No one is immune to infidelity,” says Johnson’s colleague, clinical social worker Rick Drabic. “It can happen in any marriage if the circumstances are right.” Long hours working away from home, job travel and Internet access to potential partners make infidelity easier than ever, he says.

Whether or not there is sexual contact, when a partner’s time, energy or emotion transfers to someone else, it feels like a betrayal to the marriage, Drabic says. “The pain and the real damage come from that feeling of betrayal.”

A marriage is more at risk under one or both of these circumstances: